When folks come into the Tool Shed looking for pegging supplies, they sometimes get a little starry-eyed from all the options. Having so many amazing choices is a great thing, but it can be overwhelming when you don’t know where to begin. This guide will help narrow down your options so you can find the best tools for the job. 

If you want a deeper guide between the sheets (and cheeks), check out The Pegging Book: A Guide to Anal Sex with a Strap-On Dildo.

The three things every pegger and peggee needs are:

1) a dildo,

2) a harness, and

3) lube.

In addition to these essentials, I will also throw in a few extras at the end to add to fun and comfort!

Dildos for Pegging

The best place to start with your pegging supplies is the dildo. You can peg without a harness, though that can be tough. You can peg without lube—but please, for the love of the sex gods, don’t! Since you simply cannot peg without a dildo, we’ll turn our attention there first.

There are several key things to consider when choosing the right dildo: toy material, length, girth, firmness, and shape.

Toy Material

When it comes to a harnessable dildo for pegging, 100% silicone is usually your best choice. Silicone is body-safe, hypoallergenic, easy to clean, durable, and can be sanitized between uses. Squishy, non-silicone materials may seem attractive and are often cheaper. However, toys made of jelly rubbers, soft plastics, certain elastomers, and vinyl are usually quite porous, which means they can harbor bacteria and can’t be sanitized. Some of these jelly-type materials are also chemically unstable, so they deteriorate quickly and can leach chemicals into our bodies during use.

Length 

The length of a toy can be an important factor. A dildo that’s too long can be floppy and hard to control, making thrusting difficult and unreliable. If it is too short, the toy may slip out during penetration. Body size is a good determining factor when considering dildo size. If the pegger has a bigger belly, or if they want to hold onto the base of the toy, longer is better. If the intention is to hit the prostate, explore and communicate with your partner to find where the perfect spot is in their anal canal. Then use that information to determine a good length, as the head of the toy should hit right at that spot. 

Girth

When it comes to anal sex, girth is really where it counts. The anal sphincters have to stretch during anal sex, and every body has a different threshold for comfort. Using toys like anal plugs that gradually increase in size can help the body get used to more girth. We suggest starting small, with fingers, or finger-sized anal-safe toys, to get your body used to the sensation. Then, when you feel comfortable, we suggest working your way up to thicker sizes. Even porn superstars need to prep for big anal scenes, sometimes using gradually bigger toys throughout the day before a shoot! 

Realistic, slim, and can vibrate: Fuze Ace

Non-realistic, dual-density, thicker, and can vibrate: Colours Pleasures 7 Inch Vibrating Dildo

Firmness

Firmness and function go hand in hand, but the level of firmness can also affect the level of comfort for the receiver. Function-wise, softer toys may be floppy and too bendy to be useful, whereas a stiff toy is going to go in the direction you poke it. A softer toy may have more give, and the squish factor may make it seem more realistic and comfortable, but it will most likely require more lubrication. Prostates generally respond well to firm stimulation, so if the peggee has a prostate, a firm silicone toy usually is best.

Non-realistic and dual-density: Blush Ergo Mini

Non-realistic, firm, and can vibrate: Fuze Velvet

Shape 

The myth of the “strapless dildo” is pervasive. Many toy companies claim to have found the key to an insertable/double-ended toy that can be worn by a person in their vagina or anus, jutting outward from their body without the aid of a harness. In reality, the sheer weight of many of these toys can make using them without a harness awkward and uncomfortable. Unless you have pelvic floor muscles of steel, it’s going to be tough to keep a silicone “erection” upright and prevent it from wobbling or popping out. Orgasms are by definition contractions of the pelvic floor muscles, and contractions can push a toy out of the wearer’s body. If the wearer anticipates that they may have an orgasm while pegging (we hope!), then they may want to brace the toy with a harness to make sure it doesn’t shoot it out right at the climax of their sexy time. 

All of this isn’t to say cancel double-ended insertable dildoes. In fact, just the opposite—they really are a lot of fun! If the wearer of an insertable dildo has a g-spot, the toy usually pushes right up against it, making pegging especially fun for the penetrator. The toy just needs to be stabilized, which is where a good harness comes in handy.

Dual-penetration, firm, and can vibrate: Strap On Me Vibrating Bendable Double Dildo

Harnesses

When choosing a harness, there are a bunch things you will want to consider. How big are the hips that will be wearing the harness? What level of comfort does the wearer want? How big will the toy be, and how wide will the O-ring on the harness need to be? Do you have a specific material in mind (cotton, leather, elastic, nylon, vinyl, latex, velvet, rubber, spandex, or something else)? Are either of you allergic to any materials or opposed to wearing animal products like leather? Do you want to wear the harness like a pair of underwear, a jock strap, or a G-string? Do you want to be able to throw it in the washer and dryer? How much are you willing to spend? Do you like the look and feel of buckles, velcro, or D-rings?

Strap-Style

The strap-style is usually the most common entry-level harness. It is super adjustable and usually includes long nylon or leather straps. The way to wear these harnesses is to loosen the straps, step into them, then tighten the straps to your hips, legs, and around your butt. In many strap-style harnesses, the O-ring that comes with it can be taken out and replaced with a different ring, allowing for size and material flexibility.

The strap material will affect the price of this harness style. Leather is long-lasting but more expensive. Nylon can be a little abrasive on the skin, but it’s much cheaper. D-rings, which are usually used on nylon strap harnesses to adjust the size, can slip and need to be readjusted occasionally. Buckles, which are often used on leather harnesses, will keep to the size you set, much like a belt. 

Due to their waist and leg adjustability, strap-style harnesses can fit multiple partners or change with you if your body changes. Prices vary, from the simple strap styles in the $20-$40 range to top-of-the-line harnesses that will easily run over $100.

Leather: Aslan Jaguar

Nylon: Sportsheets Ember Entry Level Strap On

Fabric and inexpensive: The Regal Duchess

Thigh harness (great for folks with disabilities or those who just don’t like harnesses that cover their genitals): Thigh-Strap On

Top of-the-line: SpareParts Joque

Underwear-Style

Underwear-style harnesses are usually made of a soft material like cotton or spandex. There are no straps, buckles, or metal O-rings to deal with. They are designed in many different styles, including ones that look like briefs, boxer briefs, or fancy lace panties. They usually have inner pockets for vibrating bullets, which is a fun bonus. They can be super comfortable but are generally less stable when used with very large or heavy toys. The O-ring in these harnesses is sewn in, so toy girth is limited to the size of the ring.

Underwear-style harnesses are usually priced in the mid-range ($40-$70), but are often not as long-lasting as cheaper strap-style harnesses. Even though they are machine washable, we have found that if you hand wash them and let them air dry, they last a lot longer.

Because underwear-style harnesses are sized like clothing, measuring yourself correctly is essential. If you choose something that is too loose, the undies will slip down with the weight of the toy. If you get something too tight, you won’t be able to get them over your hips. 

Mid-range pricing: RodeoH Brief Plus

Top of-the-line: SpareParts Tomboi Brief

Lube

We love lube! The anus does not self-lubricate, so when engaging in any kind of anal play, lube is absolutely necessary. There are a few different types to consider, so let’s get into it. 

Water-Based

Water-based lubes are great all around. They feel more natural, work well with any toy material, and they’re compatible with condoms, dental dams, and gloves of any type. The only downside is that much like the body’s own lubrication, these lubes will soak into the skin with friction and over time. To combat this, most folks just reapply as needed.

Water-based: Sliquid Sassy

Silicone-Based

Silicone lube is great for body-to-body sex, but you in general you want to avoid using silicone lube with silicone toys. There’s some debate on how much damage silicone lube does to 100% silicone toys, with some manufacturers claiming their silicone toys work fine with certain brands of silicone lubes. The damage you’d usually see from a silicone toy/lube combo is that the surface “skin” of the toy would start to flake, lose its surface sheen, or appear a bit melted. Your mileage may vary, and it is wise to pay attention to manufacturer instructions. If you’re going to risk it, we recommend that you spot test by applying some lube to a small area on the base of the toy and leave overnight to see what happens. Some silicone toys can be quite pricey, so caution is key.

An awesome thing about silicone lube is it is very slippery. A concerning thing about silicone lube is that it is very slippery. Silicone lube doesn’t tend to soak into your skin or evaporate the way a water-based lube tends to do, even with friction or water. Oftentimes after putting silicone lube on our hands and washing them with soap, they’ll still feel a little slippery. This long-lasting nature is a gift and a curse. It’s great during sex, and a little goes a long way. Sex with silicone lube is a slippery, lovely mess, but it can leave a slick residue that has to be cleaned off and can even stain sheets if you wipe, spill, or dribble onto the fabric. 

Like water-based lubes, silicone is condom, dental dam, and glove safe— but again, it can harm silicone toys. 

Silicone: Uberlube

Hybrid Lubes

Any lube that calls itself a hybrid usually just means it’s a blend of water and silicone. Oftentimes, though not always, it’s mostly water-based (i.e. toy-safe), while the added silicone element makes it a little extra slippery. When it comes to pegging play, we often point folks in the direction of the hybrid lubes for this reason. Toy safe and slippery, hybrids are the best of both worlds!

Hybrid: Good Clean Love Hybrid

A Note on Numbing Lubes

Anal sex shouldn’t need a numbing agent. There are many natural ways to relax the sphincter muscles (vibration, gradual dilation, or even deep breathing and body-aware mindfulness practices) without losing sensation. Numbing products can be potentially dangerous and make things less fun for both the user andtheir partner. Anal sex should be fun, not painful. Instead of deadening our body’s pain (and pleasure) receptors, we recommend communication and lubrication.

Extras (fun but not necessary)

Grinder: Honeybunch

Bullet vibes: Charged Vooom

Positioning aids: Liberator Shapes

Play safe and have fun!